i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
