He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
