Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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