let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
