Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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