i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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