Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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