I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
