Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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