i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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