Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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