the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
