How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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