and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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