I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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