I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
