We're facebook friends in real life
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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