he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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