Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
