bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and she was petting her beer can
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
