That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
