I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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