There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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