my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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