He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
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