I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
