Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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