windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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