i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
