dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
