Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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