Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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