Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize