ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
