And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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