I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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