Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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