He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
