Sponge bath it is.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
