this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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