I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
