somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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