I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
