How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
