Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize