you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
