its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
