she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
