Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shame - the story of my life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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