my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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