just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
