do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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