what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
