so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am one with the molecules
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize