I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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