why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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