Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
