i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
