I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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