I think I died a long time ago.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
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remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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