He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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