Screwed.edu
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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