its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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don't judge my taste in strippers
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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