So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
