I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I am morally bankrupt
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
