So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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