i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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