your parents love me but you hate me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am spending my child support on dildos
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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