Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
