my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
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so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize