I heard we made out
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize