There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
