Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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