i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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