She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
